The Fear You Won't Fall
by forever.ninja.at.heart
Summary: slight AU: Quinn is a senior, Rachel a sophomore. They are best friends but Quinn is having a crush on Rachel for a while now. Meanwhile, Rachel only has eyes for one Finn Hudson and doesn't see what's right in front of her.


Rachel Berry absolutely loved glee club. Not only could she do what she loved the most, but she also got to spend time with her best friend, Quinn. Since the blonde was a senior she only got this hour of their school day (besides their shared lunch period) to spend together.

After Quinn joined the glee club halfway through last year she and Rachel started to hang out more and formed a strong bond very fast. Before that, Quinn never really noticed her, spending all her time with Santana and Brittany. They used to be cheerleaders, but after Coach Sylvester went insane and almost shot Brittany out of a canon, all three of them quit.

Rachel was a bit suspicious at first, why they would want to join the club (it didn't have the best reputation. Still hasn't.), but after a few weeks she started to really like having them there. They were nice to be around, especially Quinn, who was a slight nerd, but only showed it to the people she likes. Occasionally, they would hang out together, all four of them, but most of the time it was only Rachel and Quinn.

For Rachel, Quinn quitting the Cheerios and joining glee club was the best thing that could have happened to her, giving her a best friend an amazing friendship with Santana and Brittany. It was an unlikely one, and many people questioned it at first, but the murmurs died down pretty much and now nobody really cares anymore (and really, why would they to begin with?). The brunette was glad she had all three of them, but loved Quinn the most.

'Hey Rach.'

The brunette was brought back to reality and turned her head to look at the person who now stood beside her locker.

'Finn.'

He looked really nervous and apologetic and Rachel knew what was coming.

'Look, I'm really sorry about last night but-'

'There is no 'but'. You don't get to 'I'm sorry but' me right now. Actually, you don't get to do anything right now. So if you would kindly move your body to another location, that'd be great.'

Rachel huffed, an annoyed expression showing on her face. Thankfully, Finn noticed Rachel's irritation and thought better than to say anything else. Her gave her one last sorrowful look before turning around and started to make his way to his own locker. The brunette only huffed again in annoyance, slammed her locker shut and marched to her first class.

* * *

Someone dropped her lunch beside her and the person fell down onto the seat next to her. Rachel looked to her right and saw her favorite blonde smiling widely at her.

'Hey you', Quinn greeted her cheerily and then nodded at Kurt, Mercedes and Tina who were sitting with them on the table.

Rachel's mood immediately increased and she beamed back at Quinn, both of them sitting in silence for a few moments, taking each other in. Quinn's hazel eyes shined brightly and the brunette was sure hers were equally as bright.

When they broke their staring contest, Quinn blushed slightly and ducked her head, both of them facing forward, completely missing Kurt rolling his eyes and the look Tina and Mercedes exchanged.

'Soo, how's your day treating you so far?'

At this question, Rachel was reminded of her earlier encounter and her mood considerably dampened, her smile fading away. Upon noticing, Quinn looked worried and inquired her to say something.

'Well, I had an argument with Finn this morning, about yesterday evening. He tried to apologize but I simply couldn't listen to anything he had to say so I sent him away. So there's that. Then I went to Biology and Mr. Jefferson wanted me to-'

'Wait, wait, what happened last night?'

The blonde looked even more worried now.

'Kind of the usual. He was supposed to come over at seven so we could practice our duet and then have a romantic dinner, self-made of course, and of course he didn't know about that last part of the evening. But he didn't bother showing up until eight, then proceeded to talk about his stupid video game and to top it all off, he declared he already ate. Of course I threw him out after that.'

Annoyance was written all over Quinn's face. She rolled her eyes, took a bite of her sandwich and chewed for a while. Rachel looked ahead, not facing the blonde, but still waiting for her to respond.

'What did you expect? We are speaking of Finn Hudson, inconsiderate to girls' feelings ever since he was born. I don't really understand why you're still putting up with him. He clearly isn't interested in you at all and-'

But those were clearly the wrong words, and Quinn realized it as soon as they left her mouth.

'Why would you think that? Am I really that hideous that he doesn't want me or what? Yeah, thank you Quinn, for the encouraging words.'

Rachel looked to her side, trying to hide the hurt look on her face. Maybe she overreacted and she knew that Quinn didn't mean it like that but still, what she said was kind of true, and Rachel knew it, she just refused to believe it. The blonde could only stare at the back of Rachel's head and gaped at her.

'What? No, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. You know that I think that you are the most beautiful person in this town, the world even, and he is an idiot not to see that. All I'm saying is that he is stringing you along, giving you hope for something that is never going to happen. And you get hurt every time, you deserve better than this. Why do you still go after him? What does he have?'

Blushing at the compliment and from the anger that was slowly starting to build, she turned to look at Quinn again.

'Well, for once, he is actually interested enough to spend his time with someone like me. He compliments me and he can be really nice when he wants to. And it's not like I have guys lining up to spend time with me, or, dare I say it, date me!'

They all but forgot that there were three other people on the table, only focusing on each other, their argument getting more heated by the minute. Kurt, Mercedes and Tina just looked from each other to Rachel and Quinn, their eyes following their argument as if they were watching a tennis game.

Quinn was flushed now, too, from anger and irritation, and looked just like Rachel herself felt.

'There are people who would be honored to call you their girlfriend. Maybe you just have to look a bit closer. But when you are blinded by this giant of yours, then you'll never be able to see the way others look at you.'

The brunette wasn't sure where this was coming from, but she knew for a fact that Quinn was just saying this to make her feel better.

'Oh, really? Where are they then? Where is this knight in shining armor to save me from the dragon that apparently holds me captive? Where is he? When you see him, please by all means, send him my way!'

The lack of an answer on Quinn's side only solidified Rachel's suspicion that there was nobody else. The blonde couldn't even look at her now, instead gazing down at her half-eaten lunch and biting her lip. Suddenly, she stood up and, without looking at her, she said: 'Not everything has to be black and white, Rachel. I'm sure you of all people would understand that. But maybe you're right and he will never come around.'

With that she left, not once looking back at Rachel, who was trying to understand what just happened. She looked at her three friends across from her, but they all were busy trying to look like they didn't just listen in on their argument, so Rachel sighed and closed her eyes, trying to blend everything out.

* * *

Once again, Rachel was standing at her locker, this time putting her books away and getting some stuff she'd need later. School was finally over for the day and all she wanted to do was crawl under her blanket and sleep. She still didn't know why Quinn was mad at her and it didn't really help that she didn't see the blonde after she stormed out of the cafeteria. She didn't understand what made Quinn go from understanding to upset in a matter of seconds. It was all really confusing and the brunette didn't like to feel like this.

After her argument with Finn today and yesterday's disaster, all she needed was some support and advice and most of all hugs and comfort from her best friend. But, alas, the blonde was nowhere to be found. Rachel sighed and pressed her forehead against the side of her locker, the cool surface soothing her oncoming headache.

'Hey, you okay?'

The brunette startled at the voice beside her and, surprised, she looked up. Quinn was standing in front of her, looking anxious, not really looking Rachel in the eyes. She shuffled with her feet, a clear sign that she was nervous.

'Not really. Wasn't my day at all.'

'Look, Rachel, I am really sorry about what happened at lunch. I, I don't really know what came over me. I guess seeing you in pain because of that idi-, guy, really lets me lose my temper. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let it out on you.'

'It's okay. But, what did you mean? What were you trying to say?'

The blonde looked down once again, staring at her feet as if they would hold the answer to life itself and then mumbled: 'Nothing really. Can't we just, like, forget I said anything?'

'But –'

Looking up with pleading eyes, Quinn interrupted her before she could speak further.

'Please Rachel, really. I didn't mean anything. I'm sorry, but let's just, move on okay?'

Her eyes were wide and she looked so vulnerable in that moment that Rachel had no choice but to accept the blonde's apology and her pleads.

'Well, if you insist.' A nod and a small smile and Rachel closed her locker, turning to the exit.

'So, how was the rest of your day?'

Together they made their way through the double doors and the parking lot, Rachel listening to Quinn's ramblings about her chemistry teacher and forgetting for now what had happened between them.

* * *

Friday night was girl's night, watching movies, talking about anything and everything and eating pizza or Chinese take-out, or sometimes even self-cooked meals by Rachel. Sometimes they were joined by Santana and Brittany, which would always lead to a pillow fight, that whoever team Santana was in, would win.

This night was no different, but it was only Rachel and Quinn, who snuggled together on the blonde's bed, watching 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show', singing along to the songs and throwing popcorn at each other.

Slowly, Quinn was getting the upper hand in their little fight, landing small pieces in Rachel's hair. The brunette shrieked and ducked as best as she could, but it was no use and she was hit with popcorn over and over again. Finally, the blonde stopped, holding her stomach from laughing so hard, tears streaming down her cheeks. Rachel just huffed good-naturedly and proceeded to pull popcorn out of her hair, which just made Quinn laugh even harder.

Upon hearing the lovely sound of Quinn's unadulterated laugh, Rachel looked and her heart melted at the sight in front of her. Beautiful Quinn Fabray, rolling on her side, holding her stomach, trying to gain her breath and her hazel eyes shining with happiness and joy. It was a sight to behold and Rachel felt her heart flutter and her stomach filling with what felt like thousands of butterflies.

'Oh my god, Rachel, you should have seen your face! You are so adorable.'

And there were the butterflies again. She didn't know what to think of it, as far as she was concerned, it could be a totally normal reaction to ones best friend. She suddenly felt warm all over her body, skin tingling and heart racing and she saw the blonde in a completely new way. The way she crinkled her nose while laughing, how she got small dimples when she was smiling so hard, how her eyes seemed to be a lighter shade of green, the way the light streamed down on her face, making her look so pretty and wonderful that it took Rachel's breath away. She didn't want to think what this could actually mean, what consequences could arise from this.

This was her best friend in the whole world, the friend who had been there for her when she needed her, the friend who knew almost anything about her and the friend who was currently snapping her fingers in front of her face, trying to get her attention. Rachel blinked and focused on Quinn.

'What?'

'Well, you just stared into space and didn't react when I spoke to you. Where have you gone just now?'

Rachel just blushed, not able to face the blonde as she spoke.

'Nowhere, really. Just, trying to figure something out.'

'Well, don't hurt yourself.'

Quinn started laughing at her own joke and after a while the brunette joined in.

* * *

Rachel didn't know what to do. After taking some time overthinking everything involving one Quinn Fabray (and with that kind of avoiding her), Rachel came to one conclusion: she had a big crush on her best friend and was quickly falling for her. The problem was that there was no chance that the blonde liked her back. Cheerio-Quinn, who was absolutely gorgeous, with a soft alto voice that made Rachel's heart skip a beat and that smile of hers (the brunette liked to call it her Rachel-smile) that let her melt on the spot. Quinn Fabray, who was leaving high school at the end of the school year heading for big and great things, leaving Rachel behind.

Which brings us back to where the brunette doesn't know what to do. She couldn't tell her, because they are best friends and she doesn't want to lose Quinn. On the other hand, though, she can't not tell her, because she deserves to know the truth.

Maybe she should tell her before Quinn leaves for college the next summer. They could part and the blonde wouldn't need to be my friend anymore if she doesn't want to. But that would hurt just as much as it would hurt telling her now, maybe even more so.

So yes, Rachel was feeling conflicted and really didn't know what to do.

* * *

She knew she was stalling, knew she was trying to get more time to decide what she wanted to do, but for now she chose not to tell Quinn. Which also meant she avoided the blonde at all costs, ignoring how much that hurt her.

She was always the first in the classroom not to run into Quinn in the hallway and she was the first out of the class to get to her locker and then ran to the next class as fast as she could. The auditorium was a great hiding place for her at lunch, nobody ever disturbed her and she could be alone with her thoughts. If she was being honest with herself, it was exhausting, but she still managed to not see Quinn.

Until glee that is. For the last three days, Rachel was the last to enter the choir room and the first to jump from her seat as soon as the bell rang. She didn't even fight for solos anymore, simply because she didn't have the time (and energy).

Of course, Quinn tried to talk to her. She called after her when she left the choir room but Rachel didn't stop or looked back. On the second day she came into the room, the blonde's eyes immediately on hers and she made the mistake to look at her. Quinn smiled brightly at her and Rachel felt warm and tingly inside, her heart pounding in her chest. She quickly had to look down and sat as far away from the blonde as possible, not daring to look up again. Afterwards she hurried out, not even waiting for Mr. Shue to dismiss them, completely missing the confused and hurt look Quinn's face.

* * *

Quinn didn't know what to make of Rachel's behavior. It was obvious that the brunette was avoiding her, she just wasn't really sure what she did to get a reaction like this. More than one time did the blonde think that maybe Rachel figured out how she truly felt the small singer and trying to avoid confrontation by ignoring her.

Of course, she knew the brunette would never return her feelings, she was much too caught up in obsessing over Finn then to really see her. It was frustrating Quinn to no end, seeing Rachel go back to the giant idiot time and time again, only to get hurt in the process. It frustrated her how Rachel could be so oblivious and even defend him on more than one occasion. But that's just how things always have been, which is the reason Quinn hasn't told her about her more than just friendly feelings. It wasn't so much that the brunette wouldn't accept her, the brunette was the most open minded person she knew, but she was afraid of ruining their friendship.

Besides, it was only for this school year and then she would leave for college, surely getting over her little crush on her best friend. Though, it still killed her that Rachel hadn't really talked to her in days, always leaving glee as soon as it was over, giving the blonde no chance to catch up with her. She just wanted her Rachel back, her bubbly and excited best friend.

It was already past midnight, but Quinn was lying wide awake in her bed, her head spinning. She needed a plan to catch Rachel the next day before she could leave. They had glee in the afternoon, so she would see her there, but knowing the brunette, if she was still avoiding her, she would be out of the room in no time. So Quinn needed to take out her old Cheerios skills, she needed to sprint after Rachel as soon as the bell would dismiss them, and maybe she could catch up with her before she reaches the parking lot.

Yeah, that was a nice plan and an even nicer thought, imagining talking to her best friend again. With these pleasing thoughts in mind, Quinn slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next day proved to be the same as the others before. Rachel kept avoiding her, ducking under her gazes and mixing in with the crowd. She was nowhere to be seen when Quinn entered the cafeteria at lunch time, but she didn't really expect anything else. Slowly, she made her way to her friend's table, when a sudden thought hit her. Turning on the spot, she ran through the exit towards the stairs, ignoring questioning and angry looks as she pushed past the students. Taking two steps at the time, she thought about how stupid she was for not realizing it sooner, she knew the brunette and where she was most likely hiding.

Once she reached the doors to the back entrance for the auditorium, she took a few calming breaths and then silently pushed the doors open. As soon as she rounded the corner, she could see the brunette, sitting on the edge of the stage, surely letting her legs dangle in the air.

Taking a few more steps in Rachel's direction she started speaking.

'So, this is where you've been hiding all the time, huh?'

The brunette startled and choked on her sandwich, immediately coughing and wheezing while her hand flew up to her chest. 'Shit', Quinn mumbled and then ran towards the brunette to knock on Rachel's back. After a few hits, Rachel visibly calmed down, still coughing occasionally but otherwise could breathe freely again.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.'

'It'sokay', Rachel croaked out, her voice a bit hoarse. 'How'd you finme?'

'Well, you know, the auditorium is not that good of a hiding place, especially knowing you.'

Quinn grinned a bit at her but the brunette didn't return it so she faced forward again.

'But you didn't find me sooner, so it must have been quite good.'

'I feel really stupid not realizing where you were before now. I guess I wasn't thinking clearly. I was busier thinking about what I had done to cause such a reaction.'

At this, the brunette looked up and stared at the blonde.

'Oh Quinn, I can assure you, you did nothing wrong.'

'But then, what is it?' She said it a bit more loudly and forceful than she intended to and Rachel looked at her with wide, almost scared eyes. The blonde took a deep calming breath and said with a softer voice: 'Why are you avoiding me? Ignoring me? I miss you Rachel. I miss talking to you, hearing you laugh, even hear you sing. I miss your excited ramblings, everything. If something is wrong, please tell me. You know you can talk to me.'

She didn't mean to get this emotional, but she could feel tears slowly falling down her cheeks. It only really hit her how much she missed her best friend and how much she is going to miss her once she sets out for college. Rachel mimicked her sad look, looking down, ashamed of herself for making Quinn feel miserable. She didn't realize how much she was hurting Quinn because of her own cowardice. Looking at the blonde again, she slowly reached out her hand and stroked her cheek with her thumb, swiping the tears away.

'I am so, so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am for hurting you like this. It was never my intention.'

'But, what did you want to achieve with this, then? What were your plans? This doesn't make any freaking sense.'

The brunette looked down again, not able to look into those piercing hazel eyes.

'I can't, I -, I don't know okay? I just – needed some space, to clear my head, I guess.'

Quinn was getting irritated now. Rachel ignored her, but didn't even know why? To clear her head? From what? This was not okay.

'From what?! Dammit, Rachel, talk to me, please!'

'I don't think I can.'

'Why not? Rach, you know you can tell me anything.'

The brunette looked up once again, looked into Quinn's sincere eyes, but quickly avoided them again. Quinn was just confused, still very upset and slightly angry.

'Because it might destroy our friendship. And the last thing I want is to lose you.'

Her anger quickly disappearing, being replaced by worry, Quinn looked at Rachel, who looked devastatingly sad and almost broken.

'You will never lose me, I promise. Whatever it is, I won't just abandon you. Something is clearly making you upset. Just, look at me. You know you can trust me. I love you, more than you can imagine.'

'But not in the way I want you to.'

It was rushed, almost mumbled and very quiet, but Quinn still understood her words, only she wasn't sure if she had heard right.

'What?'

Rachel took a deep breath beside her, still not looking at the blonde and then went to explain what she said.

'I said, not in the way I'd like you to. Not the way I love you, or like you. I only just realized it, how very much and helplessly I am falling in love with you. Maybe it was always there, just in the back of my mind and I paid it no attention, but when I looked at you last Friday, for the first time I really saw you. I avoided you because I didn't know how to handle this. I thought it would help, but obviously it didn't.'

Quinn could only stare at the brunette, unsure if she just heard right. Shock and confusion was probably written all over her face. Was this real life? They sat in silence for a while, Quinn still processing what the brunette just revealed and Rachel nervously looking around, not daring to speak. But it got too much for her and Quinn's silence didn't really help her.

'Quinn, please say something.'

She looked at her with pleading eyes, desperately trying not to cry or just bolt out of the room.

'Is this – wait is that a joke? Did you find out about my feelings for you and now you want to, what? Seek revenge?! What is this?'

'No, Quinn, please, it's not. I am telling you the truth. I would never lie about something like this.'

Quinn couldn't look at her, her insecurities eating away at her. Of course the brunette would never be this cruel. Which only meant that she was currently dreaming. Because this couldn't be true. Surely, she is still sleeping after she made the plan to confront her best friend last night. And now her brain conjured this fantastic scenario, letting her hope, only to crash once she wakes up. She felt the tears running down her cheeks again but didn't bother to wipe them away. She wasn't even sure why she was crying in the first place.

'Wait, what do you mean with 'I found about your feelings'? Quinn, what does that mean?'

She could feel Rachel's eyes burning through her skin, but she didn't look up yet, afraid she would wake up once she did.

'What do you think, Rachel? It means that I have fallen for you, and with every day I got to know you and knew you a bit better, I only fell deeper. I never said a word because you only had eyes for Finn and never looked at me like that. Hearing you finally say that you feel the same way, it's just – it feels so surreal and I fear that I am only dreaming, waking up any second now.'

'Quinn, look at me.' Rachel took her hand, and squeezed reassuringly. The blonde slowly looked up, finding watery brown eyes looking at her, love and affection written all over her face.

'This is real, I promise you. And I am so sorry I was so oblivious. I wish I had realized it sooner.'

Smiling encouragingly at her, Quinn's fears slowly faded away and she started to realize that this wasn't a dream and that this was really happening. Joy and happiness started to spread through her body, pushing away her fears and insecurities.

'I wish I would have had the guts to tell you sooner. I'm sorry I didn't tell you.'

'Don't be sorry, I didn't say anything either.'

Their voices were mere whispers right now. They looked into each other's eyes, not really knowing what to say or do next. Quinn decided that it was finally time to 'woman up' and ask the one question she had been holding back for so long now.

'Do you, maybe, wanna go on a date with me some time?'

'Yes!' Rachel almost shouted into the silent room, making them both giggle, with giddiness, happiness and relief.

Rachel dropped her head on Quinn's shoulder, shyly smiling up at her and the blonde put her arm around her shoulder, holding her close. For a moment, everything was quiet, then the bell signaled the end of their break. Both of them sighed, not wanting to leave the moment just yet.

'Well, shall we?'

Rachel just nodded and reluctantly got up. She held out her hand for Quinn to take.

'Are you going to accompany me, my fair lady?'

Quinn smiled up at her and she took Rachel's hand, slowly getting up as well.

'Always.'


End file.
